SEX IN THE AGE OF INTERNET
“I'm on the web :-))))))))))” - I'm receiving an e-mail, obviously overjoyed, sparkling with smileys. The sender seems to be excited about the fact of being connected to a new form of existence. What should I do, dear Editorial Staff? Should I play the role of a spider?
Who is, in this world wide web, as states the name "WWW”, a spider and who is a victim ? Isn't it our analogue reality that is the victim here? Shouldn't we eventually admit that WWW is a web without any spiders, a web which is spun and produced by the victims themselves?
Satan didn’t tempt our imprudent First Parents with an advertisement of a new yoghurt's miraculous properties, but with the promise of understanding the sophisticated problem of Good and Evil. By the way, diabolically indeed, he hasn't kept his word: thousands of years went by and we still don't know anything. Knowing the difference between Good and Evil? We've never learned it, and let's be honest, we've always been eating its fruits.
Thus the idea of the Net lies in the fact that every move to break free entangles the victim even more.
WWW: The Net is the world.
Or, the world is the Net?
But the question is about its edges and borders. What is the Net attached to? Aren't its joints and links with the real world hidden somewhere inside us?
So, shouldn't we try to immerse ourselves in it even more?
Another kettle of fish is that the meal here shows some exceptionally suspicious enthusiasm. Maybe it's a short expiration date that comes into play? My dear neophyte, my virgin amongst the crowds of internet surfers, how should I understand that thunderous "I'm online" exclamation? Maybe as an invitation to consume your innocence?
I won't conceal that I shall enter this competition armed with an eschatological sense of superiority. I don't mean you are going to join the group of those unlucky creatures that found shelter in my hospitable stomach. My appetite has the right to find it tactless. The issue is not that I should feel aversion to dishes which have intellect as their spice. The matter is that a spider does not eat its victims. To be precise, a spider sucks them out.
Let's start with undertaking some modest depravity. Debauchery may also be therapeutic. Even if you spent an unbelievably self-indulgent evening, you will experience an unthinkable event: you will wake up in the morning as a better person. It is a rather rare phenomenon, though, even as far as pillars of virtue or beaujolais nouveau are concerned.
It is a characteristic principle of human yearning that the further the object of desire is, the more we long for it. The deeper it is hidden in a labyrinth of the world, the more search-worthy it gets. Every urge is pure power. The object of desire, if it is not non-existence, doesn't exist. It is then a feature of perfect desire to reject short-term substitutions. We don't need half-measures, we have already got quarter-measures. Namely, a broadband connection, microphone and webcam, or in a simplified version – participation in a discussion forum. After fulfilling those not really exorbitant criteria we will be able (if there will be still some energy left, which I doubt) to sit back comfortably in front of the screen with a glass of refreshing drink and enjoy enjoyable enjoyment, carefully bearing in mind that the evolution of commerce is also heading towards replacing co-educational shopping with self-service.
Here are a few comments on the topic of SSH, namely, sex, safety and hygiene.
Sex is a low-cost activity. Sex is an independent activity. Sex is an energy-intensive activity. Sex is an absorbing activity. Sex is an intensive – and as it seems – sensually stimulating activity. If the weather is nice, we will refrain from having sexual intercourse during the postprandial stroll on a razor’s edge.
However, when defining sexual intercourse as an intimate enterprise, but nevertheless a social one, we commit a serious anachronism.
Plato's commentators coined the term “platonic love”. It's part-time, subliminal and preferably correspondence kind of affection. It was also called 'heavenly love' because of its impossibility to come true in the real world. Today, however, we have suitable conditions for it. Reality has undoubtedly made progress. It has definitely started to keep up with us. Even platonic lechery is possible. The internet is this kind of space, where one can copulate without risking a long-term treatment, losing one's honour, energy or time. Except for losing money sometimes. And here it is important to be careful. History doesn't know an example of a platonic bailiff.
Do you still have analogue sex? Watch out, you may be unpleasantly surprised during digitalisation. Half of free pornographic websites is led by marketing tricksters who search for a target for their principals and hacking whizzes, obviously interested in access to your bank accounts. The other half is run by hard-line moralists who aim at infecting the computers of the nosey ones with some virtual toxin. Taking into account a staggering number of nutcases (exactly two halves), I come to the conclusion that sex is overrated.
There are countless multitudes of deviants of every possible kind lurking in erotic chatrooms.
Social adverts? They're purely wheedling. They are placed by teases or crypto-procurers.
Matrimonial ones? Don't even try. Their aim is to swindle you out of money.
Without ulterior motives are only the websites of provincial poets.
But not all of them.
Provincial poets, as well, happen to draw from the bottomless repository of human degeneration.
There is, however, one absolutely certain thing. Setting out for a journey into the cesspool of the Web, sooner or later you will find yourself within the reach of one of the millions of diligent tricksters. Deception must indeed be a virtue in itself; I assume that a statistical deceiver would do starving children a bigger favour by pursuing one of the more down-to-earth professions. Unless the only point in all of this pathetic fuss is to make somebody's diaphragm resonate uncontrollably.
There are servers on the Net, which offer (solicitous) help in introducing adulterers. Undervalued by their husbands, women are searching there for men who do not get a whit of understanding from their wives, intending to mutually exchange their experiences, which mostly boils down to inspired copulation of misunderstood man with a woman devoid of value, because stupidity and meaninglessness are non-exchangeable goods. (And here we have a conclusion with digression rights. I'm afraid that a pure form of sex doesn't exist. Women perform the axiological activity, men – epistemology). I suggest cuckolds who want to catch a suspected unfaithful woman in-flagranti should use a proper stratagem. Namely, to publish incognito an advert containing text below: “A slender young man is searching for an adventure. Wanted: a brunette born ...... (day, month, year, necessarily!), with a dark red 3,2mm-size mole on her left buttock. With the aim as described in worldliterature”.
People with masochistic tendencies can purchase in online shops utensils required for practising their favourite perversion. The problem is the bill for such kind of service. I suggest regarding it as an element of foreplay.
In the virtual world you are exposed at most to a virtual relationship and a very real disappointment. Old-school sex. A good fellow. As a matter of fact it is the only sphere of life that has not developed. No economic changes here, and no inflation.
It's the only thing, which does not distinguish us from a Neanderthal.
Why isn't it promoted by the conservatives?
Don't let yourself be deceived by the delusive profusion of cultural websites on the Net. The Internet is sex; Sex is money. Culture is both sex and money. However with a minus sign.
I'm making myself clear. Culture is a conspiracy. A plot that has a secret structure and a highly evident purpose. Culture is the means, created by one genotype, of eliminating other genotypes from the access to sexual goods. Maybe it is right that culture enriches our quality but does not really pay attention to our quantity.
Making human population larger requires a wide knowledge of the laws of the jungle. Before undertaking the act of making love we advise abstaining from reading cultural magazines for at least two weeks.
Farewell, reader. I was loyal till the very end.
M.K.E. Baczewski
Translated by Klaudia Makowska