PRIORITY DISPUTE
I have come across opinions that people who consciously and freely enter into matrimony are true heroes of our times. According to the research, decision about marriage, especially church marriage, is made late or it is not made at all. It is difficult to find marriages that were entered into freely and consciously since very often the reasons for getting married, especially in small villages, are unplanned pregnancy and fear of being stigmatized. An expression “catholic marriage” sometimes means only the fact that the couple married in the building of the Catholic Church. With the time their paths diverge. There are many crossroads. The one quoted most often is the issue of birth control. Fewer couples believe in rightness of the Church’s teachings and its objection to contraception. Some reject the teaching from the very beginning. Others, who are in majority, ‘once wanted but failed’ and now divide their lives into the sphere of the sacred and the profane, obviously rating sexuality among the latter. There is, however, a group of married couples that, despite apparent difficulties, take on the Catholic teaching with full conviction that it is of great value.
In fact these are the married couples that might be most interested in the November issue of “Znak” (11/2006) and seek the answer to the question posed: “Does God like the married people?”1
The core of the deliberations or rather call voice of the heated dispute is an article of priest Krzysztof Paczos O powszechności cnoty dziewictwa (Upon the universality of virginity virtue). The author referring mainly to the writings of Saint Thomas of Akwin and Teilhard de Chardin proves superiority of virginity over marriage and ascribed to it sexual activity. According to Paczos, marriage is a worse road to sainthood. It does not appear to be more difficult but less effective. For sexuality binds man with body that does not allow to develop fully spiritually. This Manichean dichotomy of soul and body which are constantly in opposition has an important position in deliberations of Paczos. Literary analysts of the article express strong opposition to the very comparison of marriage with virginity as two competitive roads to sainthood. Obviously, it is true that throughout centuries marriage life was belittled whereas the Church promoted celibacy and virginity. It does not mean, however, that such a behaviour should be maintained, especially as official stand of the Church differs from the opinions of Paczos (although to support his views he quotes conciliar documents and writings of John Paul II). Analysts of the text of Paczos are unanimous that the conclusions drawn by him are unfair and unjust to the married couples who strongly believe in the power of their sacrament. Monika Waluś in the article O związku duszy z ciałem (Upon the connection of soul and body) argues with the statement that sexual act makes man unable to contemplate and love God as the betrothed. Quoting Genesis and other Old Testament texts, she proves that in God’s conception since the creation man exists as a whole – unity of soul and body. Paczos’s thinking based on Aristotelian Platonic division is regarded therefore as at variance with the biblical spirit. The crowning argument of Monika Waluś is the quote from John Paul II’ s adhortatio Familiaris consortio: “Matrimonial love contains some kind of completeness which includes all the elements of a person – impulses of body and instinct, power of emotions and attachment, pursuit of spirit and will.”
In a very interesting text the next polemicist, father Ksawery Knotz, experienced marriage chaplain draws our attention to the fact that propagating views of priest Paczos might do serious harm on many planes of Christian life. “Establishing a new criterion of sainthood of married people – resignation from sexual relations – leads to consolidation of conviction that sainthood is not a vocation of all the married. It causes lack of respect for the interpersonal love, incomprehension of sexuality and procreation, banality of sexuality and even encourages dissolution. It destroys basis of social law and order.” Those who wish to defend value of virginity, Knotz shows a different way: “… the value of marriage along with the sexual relations must be raised very high. It must be shown that God is really present with the married in the sexual act and through such forms of love they can worship Him.”
Artur Sporniak in the article Dwa paradygmaty (Two paradigms) asks for accuracy of criteria that have been applied in evaluation and understanding of sexual life so far. He refers to the concept of “the truth about body language” introduced by John Paul II in religious education about marriage. We are talking here about the sign – a sexual act and the signified- personal devotion which takes place during such an act. Sporniak adds, however, that “…there is something more to the sexual act than only visible sign, there is extra sense, and a new reality is created whose spirit in its own is not capable of creating or predicting similar realms.”
On the periphery of the discussion we can find a text by Tadeusz Bartoś Celibat w opałach (Celibacy in deep water). While the previously mentioned texts constitute in their own a kind of argument about the “priority dispute”, the mentioned above article refers to the value of celibacy and virginity without further reference to marriage. The author argues with rightness of quoting Saint Thomas from Akwin as an authority in the delicate matter of human sexuality. He clearly states that Church’s stand on the issue of sexuality indicates, “it is a good thing because created by God.” He discusses important problems with which the people in celibacy contend, and suggests that the change in the Church’s attitude towards celibacy is needed.
Everything leads to the conclusion that opinions of Krzysztof Paczos have fewer supporters even among the spiritual fathers. Pastoral marriage counselling thrives and proves that the Church reacts to leaving of masses of believers. Commentary to the controversial article has been provided not only by the clergy, but also by the secular people. Monika Waluś, Magdalena Gusiew-Czudżak and Artur Sporniak have been married themselves for years. Therefore, to face undoubted erudition of priest Paczos, sound knowledge of experienced married couples has been provided. Certainly, regardless of whom we finally support in the dispute, we are fortified by the fact that when it comes to experiencing sexuality, Catholics are not only interested in the issue blown up by the media concerning approval of condom use by the couples at risk of acquiring HIV. Because in the actual, this issue does not concern many of us.
Agnieszka Sieńkowska
Translated by Barbara van Dommelen
Discussed journals: Znak